Category: weird stuff
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The ‘Vid
I’m sorry. I really do aspire to not be that girl and discuss anything as tacky as my most recent bout of sick or how I’m feeling from it. To be fair, it’s not like I’m looking to regale anyone with a harrowing tale like ‘how long I sat on the tarmac before my plane…
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‘whatever internal event’
Bev, our elderly and sassy neighbor, died. She died three weeks ago tomorrow, alone in her house, found stone-cold between her couch and coffee table by her neighbor across the street. It looks like she went to stand from her usual spot on the couch, then —*whatever internal event*— and, down she went, off to…
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gross
I was walking down the hotel hallway to go outside and have a cigarette when I noticed my sandals squeaking. They’re Dansko brand, kind of rubbery flip flops and they had never squeaked before. It was loud enough to make me self-conscious. When I got back to our room I kicked them off and moved around a bit, suddenly…
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‘mousegate’
The year was 1995 and my parents had just announced their divorce to us, after dinner, when ‘The Simpsons’ was over. My sister and I sat in our poofy orange and white leather seats surrounding the round, Formica-lined dinner table beneath a hanging wicker lamp, quietly listening to my father calmly explain that they weren’t…
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well that wouldn’t fly anymore
I was a quiet kid. Being raised with an angry drunk Dad meant that I had my personality whittled down enough to be a completely non-offensive, cautious kid with no opinions. A quiet kid is a safe kid. For this reason, as well as us picking up and moving every couple years, I was a…
Solicitous Sociopath 