Tag: adult humor
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kitchen nightmares
Once upon a time, an overly confident twenty-two-year-old cook with stars in her eyes and delusions of grandeur interviewed for a job far beyond her experience and nailed it, based on the confidence a fake pair of glasses gives as well as an “exquisite” portobello mushroom risotto made for the higher-ups of a quite famous…
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political heartburn
Horking down this four-ounce ball of burrata at 11:40 at night with the same gusto I ate take-out less than three hours ago is embarrassing; at least with the Thai food I had the excuse of ‘I haven’t eaten since yesterday and I’m still hungover.’ This burrata is my solo culinary pleasure since no one…
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Earwig HIV
As a high school graduation present my paternal grandmother, my ‘Grammy,’ gifted me a good quality suitcase with a fun ‘Congrats, Graduate!’ card that told me to be sure to use this suitcase, to be more specific I think her beautiful cursive handwriting read something closer to ‘use the hell out of this suitcase!’ This…
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who wants it
Getting denied at the plasma donation center was a surprising and illogically painful slap of rejection. I was already humming and hawing at the notion of getting cash for my plasma but figured literally anyone could do this; it’s for a good cause, some extra scratch in my pocket, and as an added bonus I…
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Heckin’ bullshit – holiday edition
Happy holidays and New Year, fair readers. I sincerely hope you all had a most magical holiday season filled with treats, fulfilled wishes, satisfaction, and of course – good food. This was a tough year for holidays for me. As life goes it all started early with change, a raucous change like getting booted unceremoniously…
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smells like teen spirit
We walked up to our usual LA grocery store with my usual knot of anxiety (broke as we were) and I needed exactly one stick of ‘Teen Spirit’ deodorant. The mere idea of asking my single, unemployed father who supplied me with generic aspirin for the first years of my period for a stick of…
Solicitous Sociopath 